It was a cold January night when Rachel Riot and Kunoichi Erica devised a plan to kidnap seven acquaintances from the streets of Philadelphia. They forced their hostages into the back of an old distributor truck and drove to a secluded testing facility on the banks of the Delaware River. One by one they took their hostages out of the van and pushed them through a back door that read QUARANTINE in bold black font.
The hostages were seated at a vintage 1970s kitchen table. In front of them were 9 unmarked cups filled with craft beers. Rachel Riot and Kunoichi Erica stood with their clip boards and pens; taking notes on the reactions of their hostages to each beer they had tried. The ladies of PE were thrilled with the results and decided to let their hostages go free and unharmed after six hours of testing.
Well, that is, as long as they never mentioned the exbeeriment to anyone…ever.
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Actually, the only true thing about the story above is the tasting of craft beer. No, we did not kidnap anyone for our sick and twisted testing, but instead, kindly welcomed our friends into Rachel Riot’s humble abode for a night of drinking and discussing.
Unfortunately Kunoichi Erica was in the middle of kidnapping an evil Coors Light drinking ninja and could not make the festivities. However, the tasting went on and some of our close friends gave us their opinions on 9 different beers.
The Lineup
Beers were judged on a scale of 1 through 5 (5 being the highest and 1 being the lowest). We think you will find our research very interesting and hopefully it’ll convince you to conduct your very own “exbeerimentation”!
Highest Rated Beers:
Julius Etcher Hefe Weiss – 4.9% ABV
The last and highest ranked beer of the night. Tasters said it was a true hefe weizen; a remarkable and delicious beer. Hints of fruit and spices appeared through a silky texture. Some even thought it to be a good dessert pairing! Tasters thought of it as the perfect ending to the night.
Weyerbacher Imperial Pumpkin Ale – 8.0% ABV
The “mmmm’s” , “ooooo’s”, and “aaaah’s” were almost deafening at the first sip of this fall inspired beer. Everyone enjoyed the pumpkin, cinnamon, and caramel undertones as well as the overall smoothness of this ale. This beer is usually available only from August through November; making it a delightfully surprising find in the middle of January.
Lowest Rated Beers of the night:
Harpoon UFO Hefe Weizen – 5.10% ABV
An American style wheat ale that didn’t score well. However, nothing truly negative was said about this beer. Tasters described it as unexciting, bland, and boring. It was lackluster; a dissapointment among hefe weizen fans.
Atwater Vanilla Java Porter – 6.0% ABV
Most of the tasters said it was too strong and that it felt like a strong coffee from Starbucks rather than a beer. They said too much was going on in this beer. The combination of vanilla, chocolate, coffee, and hops made them push this beer away in fear they would feel too nauseated to taste the rest of the lineup.
Most Interesting Results:
Harviestoun Ola Dubh – 8.0% ABV
Some tasters absolutely despised it while others raved about it. We weren’t exactly sure why but we figure it had something to do with the tartness and bitterness of this beer. Oh, and the fact that it is formerly used to mature Highland Park’s 12 yr old Single Malt Scotch Whisky. Hm…
Troegs Dead Reckoning – 5.4%/ABV
This porter also scored very oddly among the tasters. Mainly because there were a few people present who do not like Porter beers at all. However, some of the others felt that while the hops were very overbearing, it was definitely reminiscent of other porters they have tried in the past. These thoughts are what gave this beer some of the lowest and highest numbers of the night.
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Now Go! Away with you! Exbeeriment! And hopefully your results will turn out just as well as Doctor Frankenstein creating the monster!
Unless you’re Gene Wilder. Then you might have a problem.
Young Frankenstein – “Puttin on the Ritz”
Philadelphia ExBEERiment! 